How Can You Use Tone to Create Mood?

A guest blog post by Jacqui Johnson 

Teacher, writer, friend

Building on a previous Writers Group ‘Setting that creates atmosphere’, this month I wanted to focus on developing the use of ‘word choices to affect mood’. Each time we get together, I am so thankful and amazed at being involved in a group which has such talented writers who can spin a few words into such eloquent phrases. I know this is an area I need to build, thus becoming my focus topic for the month’s meeting. 

Initially, we read Cris Freese’s article, Use word choices to set the mood. It gives an example of how to use one setting, and create three different moods through word choices.

​Building on this idea were three other articles by fiction editor Beth Hill. Her article, Zeroing in on words, gives practical advice to build on sample sentences for specific purposes. Keep readers close to the action and emotion article draws on the ideas on personal connection between readers and your text. Whilst, Tone, Mood & Style – the feel of fiction, goes into great detail about tone, mood and style mixing practical advice and examples you can use to sharpen you craft.  

As a writing activity to build on what we had read, we brainstormed several settings and were to choose one to create two different pieces of writing. Our focus was on keeping the setting consistent whilst changing the tone, style, and mood through our word choices. Below are the drafted pieces we each created. 

Ester’s piece based on ‘the beach at dawn’:

1. Henry started at dawn, picking his way through the ebbing darkness round vague forms laying postrate or huddled between the dunes under blankets. He moved unnoticed between them, scanning the ground with his metal detector. They remained undisturbed but for the occasional murmur, stirring of a shadow, or the spent clinking of empty bottles. None were alarmed that, without warning, the sun would pull back the curtains like an angry parent, exposing them under its critical daylight glare.
2. Henry let his metal detector lead him like an excited pup pulling him by the leash between the sand dunes, feeling its way through the vague shadowy mauve of first light. Beep, beep, beep! Another coin! Excitedly he scooped and bagged it, chuckling with glee. His foot hit a pile of bottles carelessly discarded beside the remains of a fire. From the darkness, a young man mumbled sleepily, answered by the smothered giggles of his lover. Another shadow also moved as though to wake, then melted back into the sand. He smiled to himself and directed his detector lower down the beach, away from them. “Let the sun wake them” he thought, amused. 

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​Megan’s piece based on ‘a wooden cabin near a mountain-top lake’:
Thriller: The dark cabin crouched in the shadows of the nearby pine forest. A chill wind howled through the pines, sounding like a hoard of ghosts. Stacey’s heart pounded. Cold penetrated her thin jumper making goose bumps rise on her arms. Her hair prickled up the back of her neck. The slamming of the back door decided her.

Stacey burst out of the front door making it jump on its hinges. She raced down to the shore where ice gleamed like teeth at the edge.  She wondered if she should chance the freezing water. The still black water beckoned, and she said yes. 

Fantasy: The dragon, Narli, burst out of the sparkling blue water of the mountain lake. Spiralling ever higher, Narli danced on the warm thermals, racing the eagles to greater heights. Tiring of the game, he finally flopped himself onto a warm ledge with a broad grin, and smiled down at the cabin bathed in sunlight below.  

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My piece based on ‘a kid’s park at night’:

1. Peter sat concealed, watching, waiting. The car shrouded by the dark shadows cast by nearly trees. Headlights flashed up ahead, illuminating the abandoned merry-go-round that moved slightly in the growing breeze. A large figure got out of the SUV, peering around nervously before making his way to the barbecue area. Swiftly, he placed a black gym bag on it before retreating to the car. Revving the engine slightly, the SUV tires spun flicking loose gravel leaving dust and exhaust fumes in its wake.      
2. Aaron felt the exhilaration of adrenaline surge as he made his way into the park. Tucking the freshly used spray paint can into his backpack, smiling to himself as he imagined the look on his mates faces tomorrow as they saw the new tag. The abandoned park was his own space. His only freedom from the noise and chaos of the house he lived in. The familiar sounds of the merry-go-round creaking in the breeze as it turned, welcomed him as he sat on the bottom of the climbing frame. A cars’ headlights flashed by as he light his cigarette. He watched, leaning back into the shadows as a man got out of an SUV. 
3. David felt his palms slick with sweat as he gripped the steering wheel. The car had only been idling for a moment but time weighed on like a heavy blanket. The sole streetlamp did nothing to reveal the parks secrets. He needed to get out and drop the bag by the BBQ. That was all the instructions he’d been given. The merry-go-round moved slowly, taunting him in the breeze. Cool night air rushed at him, pricking his flushed cheeks as he opened the car door. The doors alarm chime intensified and pounded in his ears. Gathering his courage, David felt his legs like wet cement as they touched the gravel.         

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Takeaways:
Once again, all our pieces take on a slightly different feel based on the types of writer’s we are, experiences, passions, and motivations from our underlying ‘writer’s voice’.
Have a go at these and let us know how you go. It's fun!

Growing and sharing as part of a writers group is an inspiration and a good challenge. I encourage everyone with a passion for creating stories to go outside your comfort zone. You don’t need to be a ‘closet author.’ Develop your craft by participating in a group where you can cultivate your love of creating literature. 

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