Category: Raymund And The Fear Monster

Overcoming Fear One Step at a Time

28/3/2018

When you have lived with fear your whole life, it takes years to learn a new way of living, and thinking. I’m not talking about the type of fear that is healthy, the one that keeps you safe; the fear that you can make friends with. I’m talking about the type of fear that is crippling and holds you back from living an amazing life.  
I’ve lived with fear my whole life. In the past few years, I’ve learned how to overcome the crippling fear that held me back and I’m living a life that I only dreamed about. Recently, I had fear rise up. A new fear. I had no idea where it came from, and, to tell you the truth, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it.

This fear was different, and it was to do with the Overcoming Fear, Living Courageously  workshops I’ve talked about. I kept putting them off. I wasn’t even researching. I stopped reading the book I had bought to help me prepare these workshops. I procrastinated. And I’m not one to procrastinate. I don’t put things off… normally. I was getting so frustrated with it all. I was ready to pack the whole idea away. I don’t need to have these workshops; I reasoned to myself.  

I wondered what on earth was going on with me. I tried to push through and shove how I was feeling down. That behaviour only brought everything to a grinding halt… again. I finally decided to put half an hour a day to finish reading the book I was mainly using for research. A small step towards my goal. During my reading I came across a story about a boy who was anxious about a play he was in. When asked why he was so anxious he replied, ‘This is really important to me. I’m afraid to stuff it up.’

Until recent years, I’d lived with fear controlling me my whole life, but now it doesn’t. I’ve learned to manage my emotions and not be controlled by them. So, this whole fear of completing and running these Overcoming Fear workshops was nuts to me. When I read this story, it resonated within me and I realised why I couldn’t move forward.  These workshops are super important to me and I don’t  want to stuff them up. 

However, I want to share what I’ve learned with others, children and adults alike. I want to be able to empower children, and adults, to overcome fear and live a courageous life. And, I also realised something else. I would've wanted to run these workshops even without my book, ‘Raymund and the Fear Monster’. The book has only served as a catalyst towards me planning these workshops.
 
Now that I realise this, I can get on with creating these workshops. I have my ‘why’. I won’t suppress how I feel. I look at it, recognise the emotion, name it, and then deal with the emotion appropriately. And I will take it one small step at a time so I don’t overwhelm myself.    

Here is a quote from the book, The Opposite of Worry by Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D. 

“The solution (to suppressing your emotions) is to emotionally move step-by-step toward each scary feeling.
Pause frequently to face-and-feel the emotions.” 

It is by doing this I will get these workshops done, one step at a time.

I want to encourage you today, to look fear in the face and take a step towards it. One small step. Allow yourself time to feel what you are feeling. And, when you are ready, take another step. For some, it may be a just taking public transport for the first time by themselves. For others, it may be standing up to speak for two minutes in front of people you don’t know.

My challenge is for you to do the above exercise this week. As for me, I’ll try Facebook Live.

Let me know how you go.
Until next time, 
Live courageous. 

My first Facebook Live video.

Below: My second Facebook Live a week later.

Week 3: Think about what you're thinking about.

Disclaimer: This is not intended for clinical use. These videos and blog post are dealing with the general symptoms of fear and anxiety. It's me sharing my personal experiences and what I've learned. If necessary, seek professional help.

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The Announcement. Ester and I are expecting... A Book!

17/11/2016

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Writers' Group Announcement by Ester de Boer

Only two of us for writer’s group this month! Megs and I met up at the Redbook Café in Traralgon. Why? Because the coffee is great and, well, it’s a book café- so it doesn’t get better than that. My favourite seats were occupied by a couple of latte-sipping yuppies, whom I eyeballed to discomfort while circling like a shark, waiting for that split second when their designer bums released contact with the upholstery and – BAM! In I Leapt!

While they minced indignantly out the front door, I claimed my territory, spreading out my belongings- bike helmet, notebooks, laptop etc. onto every free surface of table and pouffe within a square metre of my seat, before strutting to the counter and saying airily “I feel like something different… surprise me”. (Yes, I am one of those people, but I promise it’s my one pretentious tendency). Megan had her own complex, allergen-free caffeinated concoction, and we both settled back smugly, occupying the only two lounge chairs in the shop.

It’s been a fascinating evolution of an original idea of Megan’s story, Raymund and the Fear Monster, from the first story and sketches, to editing, reediting… while I’ve sketched and put my own two-bob’s-worth into every version of the text. I’ve felt like the nervous dad, pacing helplessly back and forth outside the maternity ward for our “baby” to emerge.

Megan and I are polar opposites in way of approaching things. She’s an organiser and is great at making connections, using social media for promotion, etc. My brain is a creative idea factory badly in need of a floor manager. While I usually make it my policy not to do projects with friends, somehow this combination seems to work. By December, I’ll finally be able to plan the illustrations. I’m working in just black and white, so I can lean on my strongest skill- drawing.

Raymund is more than just a funky picture book idea. It’s designed to introduce kids to some simple strategies for managing stress and anxiety. They’re methods which I have used effectively with children for close to twenty years working kids with special needs, so you could say that it’s a “social story” in the guise of a super-fun, cool picture book. So keep watching this space!

My two cents by Megan Higginson

Yes! Finally! After much talk and discussion, Raymund and the Fear Monster is getting published.
I tried for an Art Grant last year to obtain the funds to self-publish my story, Raymund and the Fear Monster, and did not get it (I was up against published authors). I looked into crowdfunding (it is a lot of work and I was not sure that I had the energy to put into it to make it work). By mid this year I was not sure if I would ever get Raymund published.

However, each perceived setback I looked at as an opportunity to hone and refine Raymund. I took him to school, teacher friends have read them to their respective classes, and I have read Raymund to various people that I have meet around the creative writing field. Everyone loves Raymund. I’ve taken various suggestions on board to make Raymund as good as it possibly can be. And now, Ester and I are taking the plunge together into the world of self-publishing.

I love Ester's work and I know that the illustrations for Raymund and the Fear Monster are in fantabulous hands.

I am thrilled that it is finally happening and I know that Ester can’t wait to make a start on the illustrations. So, this week, I will be sending Raymund off to my editor for a final look over, before sending the manuscript on to Ester to get started. I am so excited.

So, people, watch this space. Raymund will be arriving (barring any unforeseen circumstances) late next year. Yay!

Blurb:

A monster that eats fear, is terrorising Raymund’s village. Raymund is small and not very brave. Will Raymund be able to overcome his fear, defeat the monster and save his village?

This book has proven strategies to overcome fear.

Ages 5-8

Making progress. I can't wait to see it all finished.

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Author

On my blog you will find:

I'm passionate about helping people overcome their fears and live courageously.

I love to share as I learn.

I have dyslexia.

I share what it is like living with a chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, and learning to live in the moment and enjoy my life.

There are writing tips from my Writers' Group, Dribbles and Scribbles, as well as short stories that my friends and I have written.

I am a qualified Youth Worker and Education Support Worker. I am an Associate Member of the Australian Society of Authors, and a member of Writer's Victoria.

The content on this blog is information only and the author is not liable for what you, the reader, do (or not do) with that information.

You can find more about me, and read my children's stories at Creative Kids Tales

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The Announcement. Ester and I are expecting... A Book!

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